


ауфест в 10 ау-жанрах

by hlopushka



Series: Aufest verses [2]
Category: Fandom - Fandom, Johnny's Entertainment (Fandom)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Crossover, F/F, F/M, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-12-16
Updated: 2012-12-16
Packaged: 2017-11-21 06:48:22
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 860
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/594701
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hlopushka/pseuds/hlopushka
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>ау-фест рендишн на всем вам известный мем про фанфикшн. поэтому ВСЕ ау, кроме ау-ау, которое на самом деле риал лайф.</p>
            </blockquote>





	ауфест в 10 ау-жанрах

**Author's Note:**

  * For [jana_nox](https://archiveofourown.org/users/jana_nox/gifts).



**AU-angst**

Fuji blinked her tears away and opened her tweet feed. There were cries everywhere of fans who already watched the final episode of this season's aufest. The Orcs network didn't announce the renewal and the last episode did its best to finish the story, but so many questions weren't answered yet!  
Suddenly a ray of hope shined through all this angst: Ira mentioned Fuji.  
@Hlopa I heard there are talks in progress, the deal is almost a sure thing! Don't cry!  
But the next mention brought Fuji back to the Land of Ultimate Depression,  
@Hlopa I also heard Moffat is thinking of taking over the Aufest, isn't it cool?  
And not even trying to hold back tears any more Fuji wrote her reply  
@jananox COOL? IT'S AWESOME, NOW WE ARE SURELY GOING TO CRY ALL THE TEARS IN THE WORLD.  
@jananox it's going to be a long year of waiting.

**Real Life**

Fuji: what are you doing?  
Ira: working. you?  
Fuji: same. let's talk aufest next week then?  
Ira: ok

**AU-crack**

They were 50 kms from the morgue when Ira said:  
\- Ok, now that we stole the freaking JE FANDOM corpse, what are we going to do next? What is the next thing on your plan? Why do we even need the corpse?  
Fuji said, her face blank:  
\- I don't know. I'm still working on a plan. But I always wanted to steal a corpse, isn't it fun?  
Ira pushed the brakes to the floor and the car abruptly stopped, throwing everything inside forward.  
\- Ouch, - Fuji said, adjusting the safety belt.  
\- WHAT DO YOU MEAN FUN? WE DON'T NEED A CORPSE? - Ira cried reaching to kill Fuji. One corpse is not that different from two anyway.  
\- Could you be quieter? - groaned someone from the back-seat. Fuji and Ira froze, hands still on each others throats.  
The corpse on the back-seat was trying to uncover itself. Ira started screaming.  
\- Wow, - Fuji said, her eyes gleaming with frightening light. - It seems the FANDOM isn't that dead yet.  
She turned to Ira, the craziest smile on her face:  
\- Ira, we are going to use AUFEST again.  
\- WHAT?! We did decide that the past is the past, right? Fuji, we caaaaaan't!  
\- But the FANDOM isn't DEAD! And I know you want to do it again.  
Ira sighed. She knew it'd be fun, but she knew she was going to regret it anyway.

**AU-crossover**

\- Nice to meet you, Fuji, - the nice girl in pink stockings held out her hand. - This blue box is AUFEST, it's bigger on the inside and it travels through time and space and alternate universes.  
Fuji gasped. Ira smiled:  
\- Welcome aboard. Let's go and watch the Leader announcing NEWS' come back now?

**AU-first time**

\- So, what made him so special? - the new girl asked, and Ira and Fuji looked at each other. - Was he your first?  
\- Nope, I had lots of crushes before him, platonic ones like the X-files and really hard core that went all the way and lasted for many many years ones like with Harry Potter, - Fuji said with a hint of sadness.  
\- Yes, Harry Potter was actually my first, - Ira admitted with a smile.  
\- So, is he your last then? - the girl asked, still curious. - The love of your life, together till you die?  
\- Noooo, - Ira laughed and ordered another drink. - I left him long ago, I have other boys now.  
\- Same for me, we just slowly drifted apart, I don't date anyone else now, and we still meet occasionally, but more like friends now than as lovers.  
\- So why is he special then? Why do you come back to him every year and celebrate it in this Aufest bar?  
Ira looked at Fuji, and Fuji smiled back lovingly:  
\- Because JE introduced us to each other.

**AU-fluff**

Aufest went home crying.  
\- Oh, what happened, baby? - Ira asked with voice full of concern.  
\- Tell me who made you cry, baby, and I'll kick their asses, - Fuji patted little one's head.  
\- Fuji! Don't swear! - Ira elbowed Fuji.  
\- Everyone made fun of me at school, because I have two moms, - Aufest sobbed.  
\- Oh, baby, - Ira hugged Aufest.  
\- I wonder what would have they said back then when there were 4 moms, - Fuji chuckled and hugged both Ira and Aufest.

**AU-humour**

Sometimes Fuji didn't understand why she was even present during interrogations whenever they tried to play good cop/bad cop scenario: Ira played both parts with flying colours. Prisoners always cracked. Toreth was always happy and called them the AUFEST team (Alternate Use For Every Standard Technique).

**AU-hurt/comfort**

\- They hurt my feelings, - Fuji cried.  
\- You are robot, you don't have any, - Ira said.  
\- Oh, - Fuji felt oddly comforted.

**AU-smut**

It was a very hot summer night. Ira, Fuji, Security and Velya put their words into action, not the ones to shy away. They stayed awake till the very morning and then went to sleep, exhausted but happy. And then AUFEST was born. It was a very healthy baby who looked like all of her parents put together.

**AU-UST**

For Fuji the most favourite part of waiting for the Aufest Starting night was all the size talks going around.


End file.
